Closure is overrated

Warning: minor spoilers ahead — if you ever plan to watch Twin Peaks and don’t want an ounce of mystery revealed, then stop reading. If you’re on the fence and don’t mind vague references to completion and story flow, then read on!

I first watched Twin Peaks back when I was in high school. My brother had the whole series on VHS, and one week I was sick enough to not go to school I sessioned it, hard. Long before the days of marathoning netflix shows was a thing. I was completely entranced, addicted. I recall being mesmerized one morning up at 5am still watching, and wondered if/when i should actually go to sleep, in a complete daze of dark wonderment.

When I heard about season 3, i didn’t pay it too much mind. The cynic within me didn’t think it would actually be a thing. There was lots of back and forth rumor mill type talk about its feasibility and issues with production, and I honestly didn’t have the faith in TV, or faith in the world in general to think it could be real — I subconsciously thought it way too good to be true, and had resigned myself so many years ago to it being a story with no end.

When i finished watching it the first time it left me more unsettled than anything ever had. That last episode, or more specifically the last 10 minutes of that last episode of Twin Peaks season 2 haunted me for all the years to come. I wanted so much for that series to wrap up into a nice tidy package, one that spurned hope and love… where the good folk won, and the forces of evil were staved off into oblivion. A story that expressed the good of humanity, and that all the mundane toil all directed us to a better place.

But no — no. The good folk lost. BIG TIME. To avoid direct spoilers lets just say that everything that had been fought for by those fighting for it turned around and ate them all for breakfast, and they continued to live on in the evil’s stomach and would be forever digested and cursed. Basically.

And so, i spent my 20’s and 30’s with a knot in my stomach about it. This lack of completion, an ongoing sadness. I watched the whole series again 5 or so years ago and fell in love, and got sad, all over again. Until… until Season 3!

Instantly there was familiarity. Brought it all rushing back. Atmosphere oozing out of every scene, from the comedic relief characters and moody music, to the dark plotlines and loose ends. David Lynch’s brain is just amazing. While some of the threads of season 3 felt a bit out of place (ahem, the bands??) it for the most part fit together brilliantly and brought it all back but reborn anew, and sparked a whole new dimension of creativity.

As I approached the final episode of Season 3 I wondered how it all would end, would it be a mega cliff that left me with the same pangs of dread for the rest of my life, or would things get tidy and fill me with joy and hope for the future…? Well — i’m not going to say. I’ll just say it was simply a brilliant ending.

The thing I learned through this 20+ year ride is that things wrapping up in tidy little packages just isn’t real, and that closure is overrated. Twin Peaks spins what seems like endless subplots, some go places, but more often usually to forks that are simultaneously explored. This to me, is real life. It’s a journey with no end (well — perhaps exactly one end!), and it’s the ride that is magical and all consuming. While I do love the sense of closure a one hour episode of Law and Order provides, the lasting impression of a story like Twin Peaks that never ceases to expand its scope has significantly more creative capital and enjoyment for me.

A friend was telling a story recently about this man she met on a train under “romantic comedy”-like circumstances. There were unbelievable synergies, a big spark, a flurry of intense attraction and dates, and the storybook beginning felt like it was going to have a storybook end — the stuff of hollywood! But no — the dude ended up ghosting a few weeks later. Just like that, poof. He stopped responding to texts, no explanation given, completely baffling my friend and creating a net loss of hope in the world. And this is life. Someone should make this movie. And not to cast dismay and cynicism on the population, but to aid us in our resiliency, and remind us that closure isn’t always possible. Hollywood movies (and by this i mean the typical happily ever after style), while entertaining, set us up for failure and disappointment, expectations that real life never agreed to meet. Our brains are dumb, and can’t tell the difference, and here we are. So enjoy the journey already!

To me, closure has a very important purpose — to end cognitive load which can take the form of disappointment and longing, and in many cases ongoing pain and suffering. And fighting for this, and going after it for many causes is absolutely necessary and people do it every day, and it’s amazing. It can also help us to begin with the end in mind, to help guide us and keep us focused on the road. But thinking tidy endings exist for everything is folly. Picking out when and where to seek it is an art, a moving landscape, and practically many of our brains are just not up to the challenge when assaulted with reenactments that are charming, but not reflective of actual reality.

In closing — if you haven’t seen Twin Peaks, I’m hella envious of you. Seeing it again for the first time would be such a gift! A gift you have. Do not waste this gift. Or if you do, I hope you get great satisfaction from whatever journey you’re otherwise on.